The cold and darkness of midwinter embodied through my “daemon”, part IV

The Winter of 2015, which has been harsher than average in the eastern States, shall end soon. Those of us wearied with confinement to house, office, or stranded car now hope and pray in deepening desire for the Emancipation brought by Spring. In addition to the changes to weather and nature, Spring also provides an impetus for inward personal growth and reflection upon the “new year”. I feel my own inner spring has been long delayed as I am trapped in an unending Winter of sexual repression. Much of my current suffering can be attributed to the Christian Daemons of frigid Prudery and violent Erotophobia. Persons of faith may justly regard these negative sexual attitudes as virtuous Daemons or “Genii”, but in my life, such notions have served as cruel Adversarial Daemons.

Given my sense of lacking sexual wholeness and my struggles in coping with infertility, I regard the folklore of Mediaeval Lust Daemons in a more positive light than originally dictated by Church teaching. I find the archetype of the succuba particularly fascinating. In the late Middle Ages, Succubae were demonic beings assuming female form and were believed to collect semen from men as they slept. St. Thomas Aquinas taught that succubae could transform into their male counterparts, incubi, to use collected semen to impregnate women. The gender-transforming capability attributed to succubae mirrors my own experiences with gender-change. A notable difference is that in my previous life as male, I was sexually-repressed to the point of being asexual. Only after three to four years of estrogen-induced changes to my brain and body did I finally begin to feel a sense that I existed sexually. In this sense, I feel my previous life was Winter and only recently has Spring arrived, courtesy of my newfound Daemon of Lust. I still have much to learn about how to express this new sexual awareness without adversely impacting my relationship with my partner.

The Lost Girl, Bo, played by Anna Silk provides a modern spin on succubus-incubus mythology.

The Lost Girl, Bo, played by Anna Silk provides a modern spin on succubus-incubus mythology.

I regard the Succuba, or Daemon of Lust, as a positive, yet frightful conceptualizion. As the Japanese people created the Godzilla monster as a means to cope with recovery from war and nuclear attack, I embrace the succuba “monster” to cope with hormonal gender change and sexual repression. Succubae are made less frightening and more human-like by the Fantasy series, . In Lost Girl, the title character, Bo, played by Anna Silk, is a private investigator with a kind, albeit impulsive, quick-tempered personality. Unfortunately, the series creators have not given Bo any gender-bending capabilities. She is bisexual, a nice departure from folkloric traditions of succubae only lying with men. In contrast to my own mediaeval succubua, Bo is a softer and more urbane creature.

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