On this clear, sunny Labor Day weekend, I felt a calling to perform my morning prayers outdoors. For over a year, I have committed myself to performing a “drumming mass” each morning in honor of the Goddess Cybele. On weekdays, my morning drumming may only be a five minute hymn and prayer in my living room. This past Saturday (Sept. 5), the hour-plus-long drumming mass beside the Chattahoochee River felt joyful and fulfilling. Whether five minutes or an hour, morning drumming and prayers attune my heart, mind, and body to Divine Mother.
My faith in the Goddess sustains me better than any philosophy of the secular world or established churches. I have spent my entire adult life struggling against depression. My direct experiences of the Divine Feminine have brought me a life of triumph over depression. For such joy, as well as my wholeness through gender change, I drum and sing my thanks to my Mother Goddess. I am also thankful for my partner, Monica, who produced this video of my outdoor performance:
Even with my inner joy, I struggle in a world abounding with such negativity as homophobia, sexual repression, racial prejudice, homelessness, and apathy about the environment. Divine Mother as Cybele empowers me to stand against the foul and degrading attitudes which break down civil society. My engagement with #BlackTransLivesMatter last week is an example of how I hope to serve in GLBT advocacy for years to come. Yet activism is exhausting. I needed to drum and pray before the Goddess to restore my mind to positive thoughts and my heart to unconditional love.
In an ideal world, I could find other people who experience the Divine Presence as Feminine and could join in on my drumming. Yet, akin to Henry David Thoreau, I fear that I alone can hear and emulate the Goddess-drumbeat. In this world dominated by the angry, masculine God, I would hope to find others, especially among my GLBT sisters and brothers, who seek the Divine Feminine and her joy. Yet, it seems much of my GLBT family has given up on spirituality and seem content with an agnostic worldview. I do not fault any gay, lesbian, or transgender person for rejecting faith or religion. Too many negative people, from G.O.P. presidential candidates to the Kentucky court clerk, invoke their Christian faith and/or religious freedom as an excuse to oppress gay, lesbian, and trans persons. I do not wish to attack anyone else’s faith or lack thereof. Even the people whose minds are muddled by homophobia or transphobia deserve compassion and respect. Such people are not evil, but merely negative. I only hope to show there is a third way distinct from both the established, patriarchal religions and non-spiritual secularism. In conclusion, I post a short cut of video from yesterday showing an alternate style in my drumming: